no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
