I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize