...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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