Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
