if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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