I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
