For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
