True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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