the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
