GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
