I CAN MOONWALK!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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