Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
