I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
