I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
this just has baby written all over it
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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