He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
