um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
