as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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