thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
