their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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