Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Randomize
