Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
