We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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