I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
