Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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