How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
