oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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