So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
