just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
