what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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