Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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