it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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