My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
