A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
