Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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