my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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