And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
