Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
false alarm, still single
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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