bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
