i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
