i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
