just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
