all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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