i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
