Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
