I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
