This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
