Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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