You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
