If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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