I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
