I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
