Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
