Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
