I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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