Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You pole danced in your parka.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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