so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
someone owes me an orgasm
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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