Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
