I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
