I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
