Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
