Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
