Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
