Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
