His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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