I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
