we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
