yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
