do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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