why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
