NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
