I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
