I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
