i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
